Employment Rulzz!

Sickness & Related Leave:

We’ll no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you’re able to go to doctor, you’re able to come to work.

Surgery

Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breech of employment.

Bereavement Leave:
This is no excuse for missing work. There’s nothing you can do fir dead friends, relatives or coworkers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements/. In rare cases, where employment’s involvement is necessary funeral should be scheduled in late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hours and hence 1 hour leave early, provided your share of work is done.

Your Own Death:

This will be accepted as an excuse. However, you require at least 2 weeks notice to be submitted as it is your duty to train your replacement.

Thanks you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide you a positive employment experience. Therefore, all your questions, comments, queries, concerns, complaints, reservations, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, accusations, allegations, contemplations, consternations or input should be directed elsewhere.

Have A Nice Time!

The Management