Confessions of a Bride: Not Me :P

Yesterday I was going through fashion mag, one of my best past-times (or waste times?). When I stumbled upon this article on marital relationship.  A very interesting read … fit for us. People with high-end expectations and demands. I’ll be pasting the article below for your reading ease too. DO tell, in your opinion, is it emotional naiveness that creates a havoc? or the “fairy-tale life” assumption we live with. deep down every girl expects some degree of fairy-talish happenings in her life.

Have a read:

This is it! My Big Day! A few minutes from now, a new chapter of my life begins. Tonight, my knight in shining armour whisks me away to our ‘happily ever after’ where I would be his queen and he shall be – my king. I look at my reflection in the mirror. A starry-eyed girl, seemingly high on Mills & Boons smiles back at me. I am looking forward to my life with my hubby. Our little conversations on the phone have made me delight in his voice. I can feel him listening intently, seeing eye to eye with my ideals. I can envision a lifetime with him filled with candlelight dinners, holding hands when out on a drive and we completely adjusting to each other.
It is time for me to make my appearance. My arm perched on my brother’s, my gaze downward, I slowly walk towards my new life. The noise in the marriage hall dims to whispers. I feel all eyes on me, scrutinizing every detail. Amidst the critique of the dress, jewelry and bridegroom or bride (depending on who invited them), I walk towards the extensively decorated stage. Months had gone into planning each and every detail of this day. I allow myself a small smile, knowing that it did not go to waste. My gallant knight is standing at the edge of the stage, I look up and smile. My fairytale has begun.

The first few days after the marriage have passed by in a haze. There is always some post-nuptial dinner to attend to. The house is crowded with relatives who are interested in meeting the bride and groom at the oddest hours of the day. Bleary-eyed, with smiles plastered on our faces, hubby and I endure it, knowing it would end soon and we would finally have some privacy.

We set off for our honeymoon. Finally, we are alone, just us. My mind is filled with scenes from all my favourite romantic novels; the hero lifts his beloved in his arms. I wake up from my reverie to see that the hero is actually arguing with the hotel management for something. The argument seems petty enough but for some reason my hero is not backing down. From what I can collect, the hero is actually being obnoxious. It must be a one-time thing. My hero can’t exactly be so quarrelsome, could he? The quarrel has put the hero in a bad mood, so I am guessing I will not be swept off my feet. Oh well, maybe next time.

Over the next few days, I see more chinks in my knight’s armour. He is not as gallant and courteous as I had made him to be. He is actually a few degrees less. He snores, scratches and has a bad breath and a grumpy scowl in the morning. He makes offensive noises at the drop of a hat and actually guffaws when I look offensively surprised. This cannot possibly be the Adonis I married. Where was the man who wooed me with his sweet nothings, who was the epitome of sleek and sophistication? I only see a man in mesh shorts and a ragged old T-shirt laughing away at Ben Stiller’s histrionics on TV.

A day back from our honeymoon and we already have had our first fight. I cannot believe that he could be so uncaring. He promised to take me out but all day long he has been at his laptop, finishing up some proposal for his client. Resigned, I head towards the kitchen to cook something for dinner. I better consult my cook books. Everything I have made for him gave him a pained expression.

A month and a half has passed by. I cannot believe how different we are from each other. I believe in socializing and going out while he would rather park himself in front of the TV all evening. I don’t like his style of dressing and have been doing some shopping for him. He’s a morning person while I am more of a night person. I don’t like it that he brings his work home. He doesn’t like it that I ask him to stop littering the bedroom with his clothes. He doesn’t like my cooking and has recommended I seek advice from his mom. This is not the life I was conjuring when I thought of him a few months back before my marriage. I knew married life was supposed to be practical but I always thought that backed up with a loving and supportive husband, we would take every challenge with a smile.
A few days later, I find out I am pregnant. I feel terrible. Is this the joy of motherhood? Where is the healthy glow I am supposed to be having? All I seem to be doing is rushing to the bathroom, either to relieve my bladder for the umpteenth time or to throw up. My hubby, on the other hand, has been spending more time in the office. He says that we have to plan ahead and save. Having a baby is a big responsibility and we need to be financially ready for it. Meanwhile I am getting bigger and bigger. My hormones seem to be on a rollercoaster, messing up my emotional state. Hubby is understanding and takes my outbursts silently. I feel his wordless support in his endearing actions. He is always there smiling, doing more than his share of household chores so that I can rest. I feel as if this is a learning process for me too. I feel some of the childish attitudes I used to have chafe off me. I have stopped my whiny demands and learnt to work together. I know him now; know his moods, his ideals, his needs and wants as he knows mine. We have learnt to live together with each other, adjust to each other. We are going to have a baby together which is going to be the biggest challenge for us both and we both are going to be involved in it. We are changing our attitudes for a better future together.

My major improvement has been that I have given up the silly fantasies I had taken up from movies and books, started living in reality and create my own romance.