Dreaming & Planing

Seems like everyone I know around is getting married these winters. I was whining for some weddings to take place last year and here I am. Bombarded with them :~) Pakistani weddings are all about colors, joys, dhoom dhamaka, and loads of laughter. A few tears too ~ if you are on bride’s side (true for poor groom too? I wont be one ever ~ so can’t say) So many flavors. If you have attended your own wedding ~ do you think bride and groom gets to have as much fun? ;o)

May Allah bless these couples in eternal bliss. The happy starts stay happy. Inshah Allah.

Counting days … so much to do .. so little time. Now that I re-assessed things to do and time left .. I’m way too behind. At times doing things on your own gets tougher ~ specially in choosing stuff or even thinking of dress designs. Allah khair. I should hurry up. I need to make a list … for sure. Pardonez-moi, this para is for self-bashing. I’m already doing it, in my mind, after every few minutes I dont want this nightmare to happen you know

Talking about weddings and marriages, a reader of my blog (and I’m sure many others too =P) forwarded me a link: Ten tips to be a Successful Husband. (~~I wont be one ever … YES~~) Jokes apart. Its well-written and well-collected. AanHadhrat Muhammad Mustapha SAWW’s life is referred again and again which is absolutely wonderful. What makes a relationship worth to be stayed in and to be cherished? Its teh few basic things in life that every human being yearns for. Some love, a few smiles, the feeling that my partner will stay put with me always, the trust. The fun and easy with the flow of tide moments in life. You can’t be stern, serious and well boring always

Then there’ I went on searching for few tips meant for wifeys. I found a few. Some left me with high blood pressure, I merely missed stroke Allah raham. A few were good enough genuinely. So 10 tips on becoming a successful wife. Good enough. Even though a few things are rubbed. And yeah, at least I’m light-hearted The elaborated version of this previous link gave me a boiling blood pressure. With the person advising the wife to act like a door-mat instead of a wife. Get some life.

I’m referring to the place where he says: “An argument is a fire in the house.” Extinguish it with a simple ‘I’m sorry’ even if it is not your fault.

In my ~~not so~~ humble opinion, it may extinguish the fire but you may lose your dignity and pride with it too. Saying I’m sorry means you accept the wrong here. Let the things cool down BUT ensure you make your point. Convey it. I wonder in a religion as broad-minded as Islam, why do scholars start entrapping women in unseen strings. Islam speaks of women rights too.

Have a read at length and tell what do you think of this?

ps: indulge in some mellow romantic number in background I’m in love with this number …. BTW, she says “Teri ore khenchay ~ Oh rabba“, can we categorize it as Sufistic lyrics

December 11th, 2008 4:25 am in Brainy Bites, Girlish Craziness, Home, Islam, Life

Comments (15)

ZiosDecember 11th, 2008 at 6:14 am

First of all..NAG him…NAG him…NAG him till he realizes what he has done

Start your life with prayers….there is nothing more romantic and beautiful than newly weds bowing down to their creator together.

Just make it a point that you both obey Allah through teachings of Prophet Muhammad ( SAW ) from heart…and sincerely try to make each other better person with love, care and respect…not because you want to but because it is good for the other person.

Simply treat him as you want to be treated ( simple rule in life but hardest thing to follow ) Make a list of the ways you want to be treated and then do those to him.

Yes..do not make arguments… and say sorry even if it is not your fault ( applies to both )…no matter who wins, both lose.

Yes…Thank and appreciate him for everything he is and he does. Remember,unlimited one sided gifts are only from Allah…creations work on reciprocation principle.

Wake up with a smile and greet him…Never go to sleep angry

Do not try to compete…man & woman are made to compliment each other not to copy or compete.

I can go on and on….but…..I was an ideal husband..till I got married

AdnanDecember 11th, 2008 at 12:14 pm

As long as husband and wife are willing to lead life to please Allah, nothing would go wrong. They love each other for Allah and hate each other for Allah then they should not be worried about mishaps of life. Things like husband’s rights,wife’ rights etc will automatically get solved since they would be fearing not to displease Allah. This is how the Prophet(SAW) lead his life.

While going thru referred links, I truly agree with that husband and wife are boyfriend and girlfriend for each other that is they would try see every ‘form’ in each other thus both of them should respect each other desire while leading life. They should not be a typical wife. I think if they are more like friends rather pretender then things could go pretty sweet.

Atleast this is what I believe and would look for in my partner.

sirasDecember 11th, 2008 at 2:35 pm

I don’t have any advice to give you, just don’t let life get repetitive and boring, keep the initial sparks alive.

And lots of prayers for you, May you have a very happy and blessed life. Ameen.

Anonymous.December 11th, 2008 at 5:48 pm

Good tips by the way
and yeah lucky u, bt dont u get a lil bit tired after attending a bunch of weddings i mean i find all of them the same
when r ur wedding bells ringing

StingerDecember 11th, 2008 at 9:50 pm

Ummmm…. I don’t really believe in following a small list of things. A happy life is a lifestyle, not adherence to a list.

And such lists are gross generalization. Some points may not be relevant to some person.

So I didn’t go through the lists.

By the way, you need a double lens camera to capture that image properly.

Ordinary GirlDecember 11th, 2008 at 11:25 pm

Well, can’t give any advice at this point of time, ask after 6 months then I’ll have a list of advices ready!

But I’ll quote one advice I got. My cousin told me, “Be fair to him and yourself as well.”

ExquisiteDecember 12th, 2008 at 6:37 pm

hmmm… all those ‘tips’ and ‘advices’ are just that… ultimatley, all boils down to u and ur own decision making…
i say have mutual understanding… nothing will go wroung… of course, arguments will be there… that’s part of life… but to deal with it in a civilized fashion, that has to be learned and perfected…

waisay, all these shadis happening during winter, especially in december… imagine, every wedding anniversaries would fall during this period of time… weird…

Walking AwayDecember 12th, 2008 at 10:59 pm

No advices Just a long list of prayers for you. May you have a wonderful life and life partner

SAWJDecember 13th, 2008 at 12:23 am

I wouldn’t say trying to end an argument by accepting the blame is bad. It goes for all arguments in life.

After the temperature normalizes, have a chat with your husband to set right from wrong but not during the fight. It’ll only add fuel to the fire. Same goes for your hubby as well.

ghDecember 13th, 2008 at 1:07 am

Bechara Bakra

Madiha SeherDecember 13th, 2008 at 3:59 am

may u have a beautiful life ahead of you full of love and happiness.. Everytime I visit your blog it reminds me of Islamabad, used to spent my weekends there back when I was little. Its so beautiful. ))

KamranDecember 13th, 2008 at 11:18 am

Pakistani marriages are always fun! glad you’re having an exciting time!

SidhusaahebDecember 16th, 2008 at 9:14 pm

“Let the things cool down BUT ensure you make your point. Convey it.”

Might as well have a score-board too…to keep track of who won how many arguments and institute an award for the ‘argument winner of the year’!

AdnanDecember 17th, 2008 at 12:52 am

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/edinburgh_and_east/7784366.stm

mEDecember 20th, 2008 at 2:37 am

zios ROFL @ nagging

The prayer thingie was so cute )