daSh of sPice …

I’ve just abandoned my About Page … now that I think of it … I’m still what I mentioned in Dreams.

I cite here … since that’s who I am.

I think & I dream. I sink deep, I come out. Take another plunge and I get drowned.

I dwell on past; I re-live the days long gone. I smile yet I cry. I feel neglected; I tend to ignore things. It hurts; I smile. My heart feels no pain no joy; just to reciprocate I share my love, the unlimited carings I behold. I use harsh words, I get rude; apologies is the hardest thing to say. Where I actually do care; I become dumb and mute.

I feel I am deeply in love; I hate everything. I want to tell away whats hidden in folds on my heart, I run away. I see others living my dreams; I dont feel jealous: I feel helpless. I crave for support; I get none. I yearn but demand nothing. I want to say sorry; my lips wont move. I care for you; I’m too stubborn to tell. I like appreciation but I get bored of it. Appreciate but then leave and dont mention. I get embarrassed; I’m too shy to tell.

I have people around; I want to be alone. I’m a loner; I’m a socialite. I get angry; I shed tears. I can laugh for hours in day; I can cry for hours at nights. Memories rush in; I share my joys, my laughs, my cries, my secrets, my screams, my jokes, my pains, my thoughts, my dreams with them; who are too loyal and have never left me alone even for a second since years. I’ve created my own world of solitude with them.

A mention of small event, small joys, small funs can rupture my heart; I dont see the innocent little things happening. I happily get myself labeled weird but then thats me.

I start praying to Allah and I get lost what to ask from The Almighty.