Posted by mE on Jun 30, 2008
Don’t stuff your mind with the things you don’t understand.
Yes, the same fears are back.
Ever wondered how the way of telling things affect your mood. Well they do. Like two persons told me the same thing today. One with affection and in a way that it was light on my mind and heart with nothing about which I should be scared. Yet the other person told me the same thing in a way which raised doubts and fears. At the end, I feel like owner of a thumping heart with shaky soul =\ Sad, the second person was the last in line. Hence I’m uncertain … full of that at the moment.
The desires, fears of losing them all came back running to me again. Swaying in front of me and I dont feel like having the courage to bind them all to me, my heart, and my soul.
I feel like rushing these thoughts towards cheerfulness … Allah help me. Its not easy to share … its not even easy to thrust them on someone. Lingers on till I know. I don’t see this lingering to end in few months time though. I hope and PRAY my path doesn’t leave me to nowhere.
Posted by mE on Jun 29, 2008
Yeah these days i’m feeling ? :~)
No idea what’s the feeling is like.
Ecstatic. Love. Desires. Anger. Fury. Anguis. Cuddles.
Probably I’m making a post just for the sake of it. A dull and boring life these days. Ultimate boredom actually.
ps: I’ve gone Pro on Flickr =)) Its fun uploading without the 200 pics limit scare-off :~)
pps: These days im tweaking pics so much that I forget about all other things 
PPPS: I forgot to tell about the surgery. Well it didn’t happen. Thanks for the prayers nevertheless. The BP ws high on their machnes hence the docs said lets delay it. Though the most funny thing was he had to get admitted in hospital a day before. BP was high so he didn’t go for admission. We went to food street with my cousin and enjoyed behari kababs till we couldn’t even smell food and came at around 1 am back. In the morning abu offered his fajr prayers at home. At around 8-10 am period, 3 of his friends went to hospital to see him. One of them even roamed around wards and rooms in search. He was obviously not there. But that was hilarious =) Poor cute fellas uncles
Posted by mE on Jun 26, 2008
A heart touching poem written by a 29-year old father, when doctors informed him that his only child, aged 10 years old was diagnosed with brain cancer.
Just for this morning,
I am going to smile when I see your face and laugh when I feel like crying.
Just for this morning,
I will let you choose what you want to wear, and smile and say how perfect it is.
Just for this morning,
I am going to step over the laundry and pick you up and take you to the park to play.
Just for this morning,
I will leave the dishes in the sink, and let you teach me how to put that puzzle of yours together.
Just for this afternoon,
I will unplug the telephone and keep the computer off, and sit with you in the backyard and blow bubbles.
Just for this afternoon,
I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream and whine for the ice cream truck, and I will buy you one if he comes by.
Just for this afternoon,
I won’t worry about what you are going to be when you grow up, or second guess every decision I have made where you are concerned.
Just for this afternoon,
I will let you help me bake cookies, and I won’t stand over you trying to fix them.
Just for this evening,
I will hold you in my arms and tell you a story about how you were born and how much I love you.
Just for this evening,
I will let you splash in the tub and not get angry.
Just for this evening,
I will let you stay up late while we sit together on the porch and count all the stars.
Just for this evening,
when I run my fingers through your hair, I will simply be grateful that God Almighty has given me the greatest gift ever given.
I will think about the mothers and fathers who are searching for their missing children,
the mothers and fathers who are visiting their children’s graves instead of their bedrooms,
and mothers and fathers who are in hospital rooms watching their children suffer
senselessly and screaming inside; that they can’t handle it anymore.
And when I kiss you tonight I will hold you a little tighter, a little longer.
It is then, that I will thank God Almighty for having you, and ask him for nothing, except one more day………….
Posted by mE on Jun 24, 2008
Yup my cam cravings are back…. over nightly.
As I flickr more and more my cravings go to wild range … I’m flickring Bokeh images … pure pleasure they are. If you are not aware of Bokeh, probably this or easier, this can help :~)
Right now I want to leave everything, buy an awesome camera and go out to explore the world.
Sigh - the wishful thinking.
Took this shot couple of days back, howzatt? Critique?
ps: prayers needed my dad will be going througha surgery in a day or two.
Posted by mE on Jun 23, 2008
BORE.
:/
I’m utterly bored right now .. dont have any idea what to post … and then my sis says that Ive made a plum tart :~( And here I was yearning since evening to eat something … but thanks to hrs long loadshedding :/
So in my utter boringness .. I’m uploading pics on FB … uploaded one on Flickr … and GOD I’m so bored off.
Hmm … I wanted to write a few things more … probably i should not.
Updates:
Our office caterers are making names in below average food day-by-day. I was truly delighted to receive a mail from a collaegue this morning.
On friday our Engineering Vice President himself got the chance to come eye-to-eye with Mr. rochy in his biryani 
W00t!
Posted by mE on Jun 16, 2008
I know this picture has nothing to do with a Balam and that too a pardesi balam … who needs to padharo maaray dais =))
When I first saw these beautiful pillars erected in a park next to graveyard (Yes I’m a graveyard freak ;P ) … the first word that came to my mind was Jaipur and then Rajisthan and then slowly creeped in this song … !
I haven’t been to Jaipur ever … though its on top of my to-go lists … the earthen rawness of the region is just something that attracts me like crazy … I wish and pray that I be able to go there once to feel the magic of Rajasthan :~)
And yes .. loads of loads of Jaypuri chooooriyan *_* (my eyes are already glittering at the thought)
This is the first kinda processed shot .. though I was not willing to add too much of PS into my picture .. critiques, huh?
So I Sing …
Kesariya balam aayo ray
padharo rii maaray dais ray
Padharo ri maaray dais
You can watch/listen to the song here and feel why I’m crazy after it :~)
Posted by mE on Jun 13, 2008
I feel strangled … deserted from everything … not in mood of any goody-good.
Withut discrimination .. I’m hating everyone right now.
Everyone!
A thing that was scaring me yesterday is making me fearless today. Haa. Life.
Posted by mE on Jun 11, 2008
خدا کرے کہ میری ارضِ پاک پر اترے
وہ فصلِ گل جسے اندیشہِ زوال نہ ہو
This news may have crossed your watchlist couple of days back when in PMC, Faisalabad 23 students Ahmadi students were expelled on charges you can read in linked post. A lot’s been said on blogs and newspieces globally. It was a shock since on false allegations future of 23 future doctors was at stake. Was a relief to read this today.
I’d paste below an excerpt of the letter written by my BigB to the Governor of Punjab.
I am writing this letter to seek your assistance to resolve the plight of Ahmadiyya community students studying medicine in Punjab Medical College. I am disgusted to hear that in the present age when everyone in the world is saying ‘enough is enough’ to religious persecution, Punjab is still in the forefronts of news last week in persecuting its weak and minority communities.
Jamiat-e-Islami has always remained divisive and anarchist in their student activities. They do not obey any law or government when they want to score a point. I wonder if you expect 23 Ahmadi students including girls who could be threat to these 100s of Jamiat thugs and other religiously inclined students in the college. Ahmadiyya students do not indulge in politics or religious preaching specially in the Pakistani environment of murders and killings. Similarly, we do not expect any one to consider us Muslims, which is fine with us, but we want to keep distance from these thugs too. The decision by the Principal to expel all 23 Ahmadiyya students is based on deep bias and promoting the cause of the anarchists in the society rather the other way around.
My feelings are founded in the deep love of Pakistan, where I had spend most of my my life. I take this opportunity to urge you to visit Rabwah as Governor of Punjab. Ahmadiyya Community will be delighted to receive you. We can show you many of our achievements at this small town in the centre of Punjab. We have built a state-of-the-art cardiology hospital, which is serving both community and non-community members of the locality. We have improved on the local services and amenities, the local library serves the community with 100,000s of books in its collection, the fire brigade services are far better than any other city in Punjab of similar scale, we have built and maintained several sports facilities and stadium, the lawns and greenery all over are testament to our community’s great efforts in the last 60 years to convert this barren and saline land into fertile and green zone. Unfortunately, our opponents who live next to Rabwah leave no opportunity to tease and mock our efforts. Maulvi Ilyas Chinioti, who also proposed Mian Shahbaz Sharif’s name yesterday for Chief Minister-ship, has remained in the forefronts of anti Ahmadiyya agitation for a very long time originally persecuting us with his father Maulvi Manzoor Chinioti. The name of Rabwah was officially changed by Punjab government to Chenabnegar making it a religious issue in 1990s. It has been witnessed many times that his followers chant abusive and derogatory language on loud speakers while our community members bury some member of the community in the Rabwah graveyard. It is shameful though our patience had never overflowed. I am thankful that I do not believe in their version of Islam.
Your direct intervention and bold steps would most certainly stop these thugs who are intentionally or unintentionally behaving in a manner very much contrary to the objectives of PPP and other moderate parties in Pakistan.
I look forward to your urgent assistance to our community members in Pakistan living under the protection of your government in Punjab.
Need to say no more.
Prayers.
Posted by mE on Jun 05, 2008
I thought about this for days long and finally I think … I’m not after diamonds - a DSLR would be fantabulous =))
Yes, though its months away but start saving for a present now 
I want DSLR as my wedding Gift, Any Takers 
ps: Its the maddening hour I know … but look at the beautiful black cam … Ufff Ufff … !
Posted by mE on Jun 02, 2008
Yesterday while going through news, “Minor Girls Engaged to Settle Feud” caught my eyes. I finished it in complete fury, awe and sdisappointement.
The story was about 10 minor girls of chakrani tribe (from age 3-10) awarded in a jirga verdict for marriage to the rival tribe, Qalandari. WHY? Because Chakrani tribe’s dog bit Qalandari tribe’s donkey and it died. The feud was up for last 8 years and now the jirga has given this verdict. In addition they are liable to pay rs 4 million too.
The news report further says:
Chalrani tribe will marry off a girl every month irrespective of the ages of their “fiancés”.
This is happening not in some remote tribe of Africa where they were still unaware of modern world. This epitome of Jahalat, unfortunately is present around us. How can those fathers be so stone-hearted that they’ll marry off his own blood, his own little angel not more than 3-4 years old … MARRIED … to an adult (read old) man?
Our beloved prophet Hadhrat Muhammad SAWW came to shun off and eradicate all such sins. Yet his own followers are resolving their feuds courtesy their daughters. That donkey was probably of more worth than these 10 minor girls.
Reminds me of a few ashaar which were written by Sayyeda Nawab Mubarka Begum as a memorium to many blessings of Hadhrat Muhammad SAWW on Women.
“Yeh Khoon e Jigar say Paalnay walay Tera Khoon bahatay thay
Jo nafrat teri zaat say thi, fitrat par ghalib aati thi
Kiya teri qadr o qeemat thi? Khuch soch! teri kiya izzat thi
Tha maut say badtar woh jeena qismat say agar bach jaati thi
Goyaa tu kankar pathar thi, ehsaas na tha jazbaat na thay
tauheen woh apni yaad kar tu, Tarkah main baanti jaati thi
Woh rehmat e Aalam aata hay, tera haami ho jata hay
Tu bhi Insaan kehlati hay, sab haq teray dilata hay
In zulmon say churwata hay
Bhejh darood us mohsin par tu din may so so baar
Paak Muhammad SAWW mustafaa, Nabiyyon Ka sardar
Salle Alaa Muhammadin”
Pick up a paper and you’ll find news of a few girls kidnapped, a few handed over to rivals for settling down their feuds, a few beaten to death, a few abused and yet a few raped. We are the best Ummat … shan’t we prove that with our act??
How will we be able to stand in that Court on day of Judgement? How will we be able to even face Hazur SAWW? This life is just a transition towards the life that is there to stay. We have to be answerale to deeds done here. We, the Ummat of Muhammad SAWW, who known not even I of Islam. Astagfirullah Astagfirullah!
PS: I was reciting Surah e Baqara today and this Ayah came:
“خَتَمَ اللّهُ عَلَى قُلُوبِهمْ وَعَلَى سَمْعِهِمْ وَعَلَى أَبْصَارِهِمْ غِشَاوَةٌ وَلَهُمْ عَذَابٌ عظِيمٌ”
“Allah has set a seal on their hearts and their ears, and over their eyes is a covering; and for them is a grievous chastisement.”
Undoubtedly. May Allah bless us with hearts that can feel, ears that can hear and differentiate between right and wrong, and eyes that can see beyond. Ameen
